"'On August 29th, 1997, it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day. Get it?'- Sarah Conner, Terminator 2: Judgement Day"
Family Feud
LET'S PLAY!
1. Name something you use in the shower?
~ poor judgement
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
~ his mom's control tops
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
~ dead homeless guy
4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
~ rope
5. What's another word for blemish?
~ quiche
6. Something you'd cook in the microwave.
~ spotted dick.
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
~ a man-sized safe!
8 Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman.
~ because she will have a body far more curvy and killer than chicks his age.
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
~ exposes his dogfighting ring.
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
~ a test-icle.
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
~ body massage.
12. Name a phrase with the word 'Home' in it?
~ you don't have to go homo, but you can't stay here.
13. Name a sport where players loose teeth?
~ refuse to answer due to improper use of the word "loose" (it's "lose")
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day.
~ teach intelligent design in science class.
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
~ if they're staring out at the rain and a morrisey song is playing.
16. Name something found at a Séance?
~ váginás
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
~ the chinese one that's coughing
18. Name something that gets folded?
~ a shitty small business venture.
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it?
~ human flesh! man this is too easy!
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
~ snot
LET'S PLAY!
1. Name something you use in the shower?
my imagination
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
I have no idea. The uniform is long gone by the time I'm interested.
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
your skanky drunk ass-prints. Get off my car and GET A ROOM!
4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
Life insurance, if he REALLY trusted me!
5. What's another word for blemish?
acne vulgaris
6. Something you'd cook in the microwave.
"Making things hot" is not necessarily "cooking".
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
a coffin
8 Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman.
I dunno, I'll have to ask him the next time he comes over.
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
that bit where they drag their butts back and forth over the carpet leaving dog streaks like the witch skywriting in the Wizard of Oz...that never gets old!
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
litmus test
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
cunnilingus! Or at least, that's what I keep telling them.
12. Name a phrase with the word 'Home' in it?
Homer Erotic. That's when you get off on watching the Simpsons.
13. Name a sport where players lose teeth?
Bobbing for plutonium
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day.
I refuse to give them any more ideas.
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
The more important question is "What do you do about it?"
16. Name something found at a Séance?
an excuse to hold hands in the dark
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
Margaret Thatcher
18. Name something that gets folded?
space-time, if we ever want out of this solar system
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it?
a halo
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
your credit rating
1. Name something you use in the shower?
~ oven mitts
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
~ socks
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
~ pork
4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
~ shovel
5. What's another word for blemish?
~ it's just a flesh wound!
6. Something you'd cook in the microwave.
~ steak
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
~ lawn chair
8 Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman.
~ nice teeth
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
~ votes for Huckabee
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
~ study five
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
~ necromancy
12. Name a phrase with the word 'Home' in it?
~ home, home on the range, where the deer and the cantaloupe are strange, where seldom is heard, an encouraging word, and the pies are all cloudy today
13. Name a sport where players loose teeth?
~ ballet
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day.
~ commit suicide
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
~ remove the gag and blindfold and ask them
16. Name something found at a Séance?
~ nachos
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
~ Charlie Parker
18. Name something that gets folded?
~ portable wheelchair
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it?
~ Courtney Love
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
~ bad credit
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
~ Charlie Parker
ZINGG! you people are too good at this!
Is anyone surprised the I know who Charlie Parker is?
jessica - - for the teacher question, i imagined suicide but didn't want to write it. but it's comforting i'm not the only one who thought it!
I originally wrote "murder/suicide" but thought that might be too dark.
Jessica





1. Name something you use in the shower?
~ men
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
~ flea medication
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
~ a breakup note
4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
~ a shovel
5. What's another word for blemish?
~ enalrged, blocked pore that is filling with puss
6. Something you'd cook in the microwave.
~ kidney n' liver pudding
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
~ milk crate
8 Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman.
~ because she's a slut
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
~ goes down on you right before a surprise party
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
~ math. I just can't.
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
~ shooting whitey
12. Name a phrase with the word 'Home' in it?
~ "you fucking homo"
13. Name a sport where players loose teeth?
~ Heroin The Flag
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day.
~ tell them how long they went to college in order to become a teacher and how much they make per year
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
~ If they're a girl
16. Name something found at a Séance?
~ idiots
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
~ Archaeopteryx
18. Name something that gets folded?
~ a shitty poker hand
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it?
~ a condom
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
~ cheese
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