Bambi-Lyn - why aren't there any pictures of you?

'Ask Bambi-Lyn' is our new advice column for anyone who wants to hear honest-to-Goddess real-life advice from one of today's sexiest young scream queens, Bambi-Lyn Couchet! Bambi-Lyn is a world-famous actress who has starred in horror films like Stripped To Kill 5, Death Bitch IX, Death Cry of the She-Bitch From Hell, Ho Stalker 3, Satan's Sweet Cheerleaders, and Jim Wynorski's Queen Suckula's Dungeon of Lusty Doom. Bambi-Lyn is writing and producing her own sasquatch horror film, Bigfear, in which she will star, of course. She brings her unique craft and unparalleled talent to any production, and she's ready to share her experience in the world of love and life and horror with her fans (YOU). Bambi-Lyn, in addition to joining the Pretty/Scary Family, runs a popular blogand can be visited on myspace. Bambi's advice column will run every month on Pretty/Scary! But enough about us, let's get to Bambi and her advice! If you'd like to ask Bambi-Lyn a question, email her at screamqueenbambi-lyn@hotmail.com

Today's question comes from Martin, a pervert in Alaska. Bambi knows just what to say to give the pervos what they need to hear!

Dear bambi lyn,
 
I am a huge fan. But I wonder why I can't seem to find any pictures of you anywhere. I would love to get a picture of you from Ho-Stalker 3 to put on my ceiling above my bed.
 
- Martin, Alaska

Dear Martin,
 
I wish I could fuel your testosterone-flavored dreams by sending you a personally autographed photo of yours truly, but unfortunately, I'm restricted by law from making my picture available. You see, there was a very nasty divorce between a male friend of mine and his horrendously nasty bitch of a wife, and just because he had a few (hundred) screen stills and posters and signed photos of me in his home office, she named me as a respondant in their divorce. Apparently, the judge believed that I was a third party or something and that his overwhelming devotion to me as a fan helped end their marriage. Whatever. It's not like I ever slept with him...much.
 
But anyway, after that little incident, my lawyers advised me to take down all the photos of myself because apparently I drive men into such fits of lust and obsession that they tend to ignore the real women in their lives (of course, I understand completely). If you look hard enough, you might be able to find a few screen caps of me for sale on eBay. The person selling the pictures goes by the name of BamBam and might cut you a deal.