Teen cult film 'Heathers' becoming a Fox TV show

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. The 1989 Christian Slater/Winona Ryder/Shannen Doherty masterpiece of teen black comedy, murder, cliques, and morbidity Heathers is becoming a Fox TV series.

TV writer Mark Rizzo and producer Jenny Bicks (Sex in the City, Men in Trees) are in charge of the adaptation, which worries me, because of Sex in the City and Men in Trees being awful shows in which women are vapid innocent idiots and men are idealized as saviors of the middle-aged single gal. Anyway, this is about teenagers. So thankfully Diablo Cody is not involved...

Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Winona Ryder), J.D. (Christian Slater) and the "Heathers" themselves will all stay as characters, but what other horrible changes will be made?

The idea for a Heathers revival came from inside UTA, where reps for Rizzo and Bicks decided the title was ready to be remade and exploited and contacted Lakeshore, who owns the rights to the movie, about redoing it as either a show or a remake film.

"We had the title, and talked about doing a film remake at times," said Lakeshore's Gary Lucchesi, who is probably gettingh a blowjob under the table while smoking a big cigar in his giant office. "But doing it for TV seemed like a fresh and original idea."

Daniel Waters, the writer of the the original film, is rolling in his grave, or would be, if he weren't still alive.