"'I weigh about 111 pounds, and the public feels that you have to be big and strong, but it actually doesn't matter what your body weight is as long as you know the correct technique and know where to hit.'- Cynthia Rothrock"
The Blood Stained Bride
Tue, 11/10/2009 - 17:33
The Blood Stained Bride starts off by asking an interesting question: Can a woman be raped on her wedding night - by her husband? The answer is yes, especially when the bride is a virgin who wants to go slow and the handsome hubby is a cherry hound with one thing on his mind (well, two things if you count the wedding cake). So the bride stabs hubby to death with the cake knife.
Fast forward an undisclosed amount of time and our bride has relocated and changed her name to evade the authorities. The problem is, she's kind of crazy now. She likes to dress up in her blood stained wedding gown and parade around her apartment looking creepy, and when she's really bored she breaks out the doll collection and plays "perfect wedding".
Meanwhile, we're introduced to a balding guy named Tracy, who likes to spend his days whacking golf balls into the ocean. Tracy has recently been dumped by his cliche-slutty girlfriend, and to get him over it his cliche-male pals want to hook him up with the next available female with nice legs and a pulse. Tracy of course meets our Blood Stained Bride, who wants nothing more than to find the perfect man to marry. Tracy better be perfect... or else!
Okay, I'll just get right to the point. This is a good movie. The Blood Stained Bride isn't a buried masterpiece of modern horror or anything, but it's kind of funny, the characters grow on you (against seemingly impossible odds), and sometimes it's even scary.
I could tell the filmmakers really cared about what they were doing when they made this thing, and that care won me over. I got so comfortable with the characters and their amusing, at-times-stupid personalities, that I was kind of bummed out when the real stabbing began at the end (although they managed to make that part entertaining as well). And even though the Blood Stained Bride herself is as crazy as a shithouse rat, I kind of liked her anyways. When she started bossing Tracy around, forced him to give up his drinking buddies, and even purchased him a track suit to powerwalk in, I shrugged and thought to myself, "I'd still date her." Because, in her own twisted way, she really did love Tracy.
Favorite line of the movie - "What's wrong with the Dollar Store?"
The Blood Stained Bride (2005)
written by Aaron Bork and Brad Paulson
directed by Aaron Bork
* * * (out of five stars)
review by one thousand wolves
Wed, 11/11/2009 - 03:03
#2
Wed, 11/11/2009 - 13:15
#3
Thu, 11/12/2009 - 03:44
#4
Don't get me wrong - violence in movies doesn't bother me, since I know it's just acting - but I guess it's different for me when I've sort of gotten to know the actor/actress first. It's cool, because this is a new experience for me. I usually don't think twice when I see an actor/actress going through the usual horror movie pretend violence. But now when I watch any movie like that I wonder - if it was someone I knew up there would I still feel comfortable watching it? See, it's funny, because I know this is something I can become indifferent to - but I'm not sure I want to just yet. It feels good not being so jaded when it comes to horror films for a change. After all these years of watching the most brutal movies, I had no idea I had this amount of sensitivity left in me, and I think I'm going to embrace it for awhile.
Thu, 11/12/2009 - 14:02
#5
I made a movie with Brad Paulson, he directed Evil Ever After, and he made me a lead character in that. I was flattered. Brad is a really nice, extremely demented human being with a sick sense of humor. He and I get along quite well.
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