Bikini Bloodbath (2007)

Bikini Bloodbath
Directed by: Jon Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour
Produced by : Sheri Toczko, Ross Russo, and Robert Cosgrove
Featuring: Sheri Bomb, Debbie Rochon, Leah Ford, Kate Gil, Anna Eskilsson, Natasha Nielson, Russ Russo, Dana Ensalata, and Olja Hrustic
2007 Brightly Entertainment www.bloodbathpictures.com
Review by: Superheidi

“A group of teens plan a party, a murderer is on the loose, and that’s about it for the plot.” At least this quote from Bikini Bloodbath’s trailer is honest! A gang of hot chicks and some not-so-hot guys (well, actually, there are SO hot guys in this film) plus one lezzed-out Debbie Rochon make for a fun, albeit senseless, movie. We mustn’t forget that the entire film is filled with the music, paraphernalia of, and presence-promoting of, a metal band by the name of White Liger, which is either a plus or a minus depending on how you add.

Starring the lovely and talented Leah Ford, who is the only woman who can make a mullet look hot, Bikini Bloodbath begins with a group (5? 6? It’s hard to say) of girls in high school who plan a huge awesome party complete with music and balloons and margaritas! No boys invited! Whoooo! The BOYS, on the other hand, get back at the girls by having their own party, one filled with football playing-frat mentality high-schoolers and so much overt homoerotica that one’s head tries to explode. The Gay Dykey high school P.E. teacher, Debbie Rochon, enjoys watching the girls shower and telling them to be careful when they party. And that she’s there if they need ANYTHING at all. Just call her. When the boys get bored, two of (Thomas Edward Seymour and Russ Russo) them sneak over to the girls’ party for some fun! And then, Nerdy Suzy (Sheri Bomb) stops by to wan them all… about a killer chef?

Debbie Rochon as a kick-ass hot lezzie dyke.

The story makes no sense at all, especially since a “killer chef” (played by Robert Cosgrove Jr.) begins systematically stalking and killing the various characters for no real reason. Is he an escaped mental patient? A chef with a revenge drive, or a cannibal, looking for new ingredients for his dishes? Who knows? They never tell you. This was a serious drawback that was only overcome (and when I say"‘overcome” I mean, “not overcome”) by the extremely well-written dialogue and jokes. Seriously, Bikini Bloodbath has some of the funniest lines I have ever heard uttered in a comedy. When the girls have good direction, their delivery of said lines is hilarious, and when they are not well-directed, they still manage to be funny. Despite how awesome some of the dialogue is, when the direction gets bad it stays bad and doesn’t recover very much. Not particularly well-shot, the unprofessionalism often slides over to other parts of the film. Leah Ford and Olja Hrustic, as Ginger and Jenny, make up for (some) of the flubbed lines by the other would-be comediennes. Sharon (Anna-Karin Eskilsson) and Pam (Dana Fay Ensalata) provide some good ol’ fashioned Jew-girl-from-Jersey comedy, either intentionally or unintentionally I don’t know for sure. Debbie Rochon's appearance is, as usual for her, professional and funny, but her character dies early on when so much more fun could have been had by keeping her around to counteract the oft-uncomfortable acting of some of the male characters.

Of course, since this film is honest above all else, we do get to see babes in bikinis running around, in and out of a hot tub, as well as a semi-bloodbath. Though, to admit, the second largest complaint I have with Bikini Bloodbath after the direction/camera direction is the lack of good solid gore. Blood, yes, we get blood, but FX shots are rarely held for very long, a move that gore-hounds will see as a serious cop-out. Bikini Bloodbath ends abruptly and strangely with a feeling of incompleteness. But you’ll still be laughing so you may not notice until a video for a band called White Liger starts playing at the end of the film.  Fun, silly, but not incredibly professional, Bikini Bloodbath is packaged extremely well.

Bikini Bloodbath marks the first producing credit for Sheri Tozcko, who also stars in the upcoming sequel Bikini Bloodbath 2, due out in 2008.