Sweet Valley High

So, Diablo Cody, queen of all that is trite, is going to be adapting the shallow and frivolous Sweet Valley High teen novels of the early 1980's to a film! Its the perfect mix! Cody's inability to create characters with real human emotion and the pandering and perfect worlds of gorgeous blond twins Elizabeth and Jessica = match made in heaven!

The original series of novels, written by Francine Pascal, follows Elizabeth (the smart one) and Jessica (the fun one) Wakefield through Sweet Valley High School - a place where there are only rich, happy white people. As the series progressed, it went the way of 90210 and Melrose Place and teen high school troubles morphed from 'what to wear to Prom?' to 'kidnapped by a cult', 'stalked by a killer', and 'my best friend has gone insane and died from snorting coke.'

Truly, my faith in Cody has been renewed.