Sorority Row

Written by: Josh Stolberg, Pete Goldfinger, and Mark Rosman
Directed by: Stewart Hendler
Featuring: Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Audrina Patridge, Carrie Fisher
Review by: Paula Haifley

The new remake of House on Sorority Row comes out today, and surprisingly, it doesn’t suck. If you’re looking for a fun, airy popcorn slasher film with some good jumps and only a little brain activity, Sorority Row will satisfy you. It’s a hamburger from the cafeteria instead of a steak from a non-chain restaurant.

So, that movie Sorority Row remake has a newly released shower scene clip, posted below for your enjoyment/fun-making benefit. The film stars Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis!, Audrina Patridge!, Leah Pipes, Jamie Chung & Carrie Fisher. In the first clip, The Asian One and the Blond Ones talk about stuff and show their boobs while talking like they're in that movie Jawbreaker.

The second clip involves a bunch of lame obscenities plus a death-by-vodka-bottle that's fairly cool, if only because the annoying girl gets killed. And the third? Its the opening sequence of the film.

These clips are not safe for work, FYI...

Making sorority girls seem like vile, shallow bitches, the new Sorority Row remake teaser is actually kind of funny. Unfortunately, its probably better than anything we'll actually see in the movie itself. A blond alpha bitch attempts to recruit new members to Theta Pi while simultaneously announcing that fat, broke, or ugly chicks need not apply. Then, we get some exploitative scenes of hot college chicks making out. Because straight chicks are also all gay, but only when they are really hot.

They've already subjected us to their retarded poster of a pile of naked chicks in college that doesn't exactly say 'horror' on any level, but now they want to shove lame lesbiana down our throats (or rather, down men's throats) but at least the ladies will have something to laugh at while the men are jerking off: the dialogue and character development. Check out the teaser below...