Lame

So, Diablo Cody, queen of all that is trite, is going to be adapting the shallow and frivolous Sweet Valley High teen novels of the early 1980's to a film! Its the perfect mix! Cody's inability to create characters with real human emotion and the pandering and perfect worlds of gorgeous blond twins Elizabeth and Jessica = match made in heaven!

The original series of novels, written by Francine Pascal, follows Elizabeth (the smart one) and Jessica (the fun one) Wakefield through Sweet Valley High School - a place where there are only rich, happy white people. As the series progressed, it went the way of 90210 and Melrose Place and teen high school troubles morphed from 'what to wear to Prom?' to 'kidnapped by a cult', 'stalked by a killer', and 'my best friend has gone insane and died from snorting coke.'

Truly, my faith in Cody has been renewed.

Check out this new promo featurette with mini-interviews with Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Karyn Kusama, and Diablo Cody for Jennifer's Body, the new horror movie coming out September 18th 2009, directed by Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux, unfortunately).

I don't know. Diablo uses the words 'Cinematic and Atmospheric', whilc Megan promises that this film will 'shock us'. Hm.

Unfortunately, from what I've seen so far, the movie seems predictable and shallow. Check out the new promo below and decide for yourself...

So, that movie Sorority Row remake has a newly released shower scene clip, posted below for your enjoyment/fun-making benefit. The film stars Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis!, Audrina Patridge!, Leah Pipes, Jamie Chung & Carrie Fisher. In the first clip, The Asian One and the Blond Ones talk about stuff and show their boobs while talking like they're in that movie Jawbreaker.

The second clip involves a bunch of lame obscenities plus a death-by-vodka-bottle that's fairly cool, if only because the annoying girl gets killed. And the third? Its the opening sequence of the film.

These clips are not safe for work, FYI...

So, lately Twilight fans have been crybabies because Bryce Dallas Howard (famous for being cute and Ron Howard's daughter) is taking over the role of evil vampiress Victoria (played by Rachel Lefevre in the first two Twilight films), and Twilight fans don't like change. It's been wondered why this change was made, but frankly - Howard is a much bigger star and that's all you need to know. Also, who cares?

Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first Twilight film, confirms that Howard was their first choice all along, but the role was too 'small' for her. That's why, in the third film, the role of Victoria has been built up and now Howard will deign to do it. Catherine spoke about it at the Teen Choice Awards on August 9th, and also talks about her latest project - a modern thriller based on Hamlet...

So, some unknown author named Jordan Scott claims that Stephenie Meyer plagiarized her novel that no one has ever read called The Nocturne in parts of the Twilight Series book Breaking Dawn (which I wish was called Breaking Wind because that would be funny.) Even though the people at TwilightLexicon (yes, that's a site) did a copyright search and proved that Forever Dawn (the original name of Breaking Dawn) was copyrighted on Jan 5, 2004 and Scott's book The Nocturne was copywrighted nearly 4 years later on September 19th, 2008, this lame-ass lawsuit exists and a lawyer has actually taken it.

Yahoo News reported that Scott insists the following points are too similar to be anything but copied...

To make your morning just that much more surreal and unfair, Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer is getting her own biography comic. Yes, a comic book about her, not her fiction. This is the fault of a company called Bluewater Productions, and they will release Female Force: Stephenie Meyer right before the new Twilight movie hits theaters on, November 20th, 2009.

It will most likely glamorize the life of the uber-Mormon housewife prior to her fabulous wealth and instill unrealistic expectations in young women that they, too, can get lucky and become rich off of a dumb idea. I hope there are scenes of Meyer in church every Sunday, praying the 'gay' away...